Back to Wonderland
by Rinean
Summary: When the former Queen of Hearts escapes prison and gets her hands on the Stone of Wonderland and Mad March, Alice and Hatter have to escape to Wonderland to be safe. But in Wonderland, a new assassin appears and seems to have their sights on Alice...
1. Chapter 1

I do not own SyFy's Alice, but I wish I owned Hatter. He's de-lish. Anyway, enough crap, let's get this show on the road.

**Back to Wonderland**

**Chapter One**

One amazing week had passed since Alice's ordeal in Wonderland. It was amazing because of the man beside her - Hatter. She couldn't call him David, even if it was his given name; it was too plain, boring. No, to her, he would always and forever be Hatter.

Alice sighed as she and Hatter approached her apartment door. They'd spent another night out on the town, a movie and pizza - again; Hatter was addicted to the stuff - and she wasn't quite ready for the night to end yet. Her mother _was_ out for the night... "Would you like to come in and... have some tea?"

"Most definitely," Hatter replied, always welcoming a cup of tea when offered.

Several minutes later, they sat side by side on the sofa, a hot, steaming cup of tea in their hands. Alice felt nervous suddenly, strangely aware of every little thing she was doing. Her hands were shaking, and she was taking extreme caution to not act like an idiot. Hatter was having similar emotions, his heart hammering away in his chest, feeling ready to burst.

He set his saucer on the table, took a quick sip of his tea, then placed the glass on the saucer, turning to face Alice. "Why are you being so quiet?" he asked. "Because, let's face it, you're not the quiet type, Alice."

"Er..." Words escaped her. She had no idea how to respond, or how to continue with the night. How did people invite people to their place for "coffee" so easily? She set her cup on the table beside his, unable to hide her shaking hands any longer.

He grabbed her hand before she could put it in her lap. "You weren't just inviting me in for a cup o' tea, were you?" he asked with a cocky grin.

"I-" she started, but was cut off as Hatter pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and lost herself in him; his smell, his taste. She leaned back as she ran her fingers through his hair, and he put his hand behind her neck to deepen the kiss further.

Her breathing became ragged as he pulled away from her lips, instead tracing the curve of her collarbone with his tongue. She shuddered and gasped, making him grin against her soft skin. "God..." she muttered. Then she jerked away. "Jack!"

Hatter leaned up on his elbows above her and glared at her. "What the-" He noticed her gaze went over his head. He turned reluctantly; indeed, Jack Heart was standing in the apartment's entryway.

He sat up fully, helping Alice up from her awkward position. She blushingly smoothed her now wrinkled dress as she stood to face Jack. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"You know, breaking and entering is illegal here, too," Hatter grumbled at him, giving him the evil eye.

"I am sorry to... _interrupt_..." Jack said, an eyebrow raised at them. "However, I do have urgent business."

"Get on with it then, and get the hell out of here!" Hatter growled.

"Hatter," Alice said, giving him a look. "What do you want, Jack?" she repeated.

"To warn you," he replied regally.

"Warn us of what?"

Jack looked sheepish, then regained his composure. "It would seem as though my mother has, well... escaped prison."

"What!" she and Hatter exclaimed.

"And she has the ring."

"I'm gonna kill 'im," Hatter said, balling his fists. "Can I please kill 'im?"

"And Mad March."

"Okay, let's go, Alice. Japan, Paris, anywhere, let's get the hell out of here." Hatter said, pushing Jack back to the door. "You. Leave."

"We're going back with you." Alice said to Jack before Hatter had fully forced him away.

"Has everyone lost their minds _except_ me?" Hatter said, throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Think about it, Hatter," she went on. "If she's after me, she's obviously going to look for us anywhere _but_ Wonderland."

"My thoughts exactly," Jack said. "We've only got a day's time left on the looking glass, Alice, so I'd gather what you need quickly."

"Unbelievable," Hatter groaned, flopping back onto the sofa.

"You're just upset because you've got a personal problem in your pants that's yet to be dealt with." Jack said with a glance at him.

"Okay, enough," Alice said, now resuming Hatter's pushing Jack through the door. "We'll meet you there in three hours."

Jack opened his mouth to say something else, but she closed the door in his face.

Hatter looked at her confusedly. "Three hours? What in the world do you need that will take three hours?"

She didn't say a word, only stepped forward, took his hand, pulled him off the couch, and dragged him to her bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two is here! It's a quick chapter, and I couldn't really figure out how to get Charlie in there easily... so here's the result! Hope you like! Please review!

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"Are you sure you've got everything you need?" Jack asked when he saw the three bags Alice and Hatter had shown up with. "This is an indefinaitely long trip, you know."

"I've got it, Jack. Even left a note for my mom," Alice said.

"You did?" Hatter asked.

"Yeah... told her we were eloping," she said with a blush. Hatter chuckled and kissed her.

Jack opened his mouth to ask what had taken so long to pack such meager belongings, then shut it quickly. Of course, he should have realized by the smug expression on Hatter's face what had taken up so much time.

"Alrigh' then, let's get a move on," Hatter said impatiently, hoisting one of their bags up on his shoulder.

"Just a moment more," Jack said, Halting Hatter before he had rushed through early. "Due to your... delay... we're off the Looking Glass's schedule. If you left now, you'd wind up in the waterways."

"Wonderful," Hatter said, rolling his eyes. "Any second mad March could figure out we're not in our apartments, and we're just sittin' ducks here."

Alice grabbed onto Hatter's coat sleeve tightly. He gave her strength when she was scared, and she was scared as hell right now. He turned to her and pulled her close. "I'm not gonna let anythin' happen to you, Alice," he said softly. She just nodded as he pushed some of her hair back out of her face.

Jack shuffled from foot to foot uncomfortably, not wanting to endure seeing his once-love being intimate with another man, and it made it all the more painful that it was Hatter, and the knowledge of what they had undoubtedly done to cause their little delay. He cleared his throat loudly, causing the couple to jump apart. "I believe the Looking Glass is ready."

Hatter and Alice stepped up to the glas, Alice taking deep breaths, not looking forward to the falling aspect of this form of travel. Hatter glanced at Jack and grudgingly nodded, a silent thanks for saving their asses from the crazy ex-Queen. He gave Alice's hand a gentle squeeze, then they leapt together into the portal.

* * *

"That really hurts," Hatter grumbled, rubbing his backside where he landed on the hard floors of Looking Glass Station. "Can't you people put a mat there or something?"

"You're obviously not too hurt, if you can walk," Jack spat. Hatter gave him the evil eye.

"So, where will we be staying?" Alice asked, making a conscious effort not to look down over the edge of the building.

"We've secured a home for you in the city, only I and a select few others know it's whereabouts, so you should be quite safe. You'll be provided with money, so you don't need to worry about anything." Jack answered.

"You're going through an awful lot of trouble. Hatter and I could get jobs, you know," Alice said, embarassed at accepting so much from him.

"I owe you my entire kingdom, Alice. Don't forget that."

Hatter, walking behind the two of them, was shooting death glares at the back of Jack's head. "Meh meh meh meh meh, Alice," he muttered in a mocking tone under his breath. Alice shot him a look, then turned to face forward again.

"So..." Alice searched her mind for some conversation point as they walked. "How are things with Duchess?"

"Surprisingly good, actually. I do still have feelings for you, of course," Jack replied.

"Oi, I'm righ' here, ya slimy toad!" Hatter growled.

"But I believe our relationship can grow," Jack finished, ignoring Hatter completely.

* * *

"Here we are," Jack said.

Alice and Hatter came to a stop next to Jack, looking at was to be their home for the indefinite future. The safe house looked surprisingly normal, reminding Alice of any home in a suburbian neighborhood; the only thing it lacked was a white picket fence, or the yard for the fence to go into.

"Oh," Jack said, snapping his fingers and turning to face them. "I nearly forgot to mention your bodyguard."

"Bodyguard?" Alice said, surprised. "Is that really necces-"

"Alice of Legend, I swear on my life to protect you once again!"

"We're doomed," Hatter said, eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hat.

Alice turned to look at the house, where the shout had come from, and was immediately pulled into a spine-cracking hug. "Hey, Charlie," she managed to breathe.

"Could you mind not breaking my girlfriend?" Hatter asked, a smirk on his face.

Alice's feet had barely touched the ground before Hatter was pulled into the White Knight's clutches. "Harbinger!"

"It's actually pronounced 'Hatter,'" Hatter choked out.

Jack once again looked uncomfortable, like a stranger at a family reunion. "Well, I'll leave you two to unpack."

Alice stepped forward and hugged him. "You really don't have to do all of this."

"Really, Alice?" Hatter said, breathing deeply once he was free of Charlie's grasp. "'Cause I'm not complainin'."

"Yes, I do," Jack said, ignoring Hatter once more. "I'll be back in the morning to check on you." He turned and began to walk away.

Just before Jack disappeared around a corner, a thought struck Hatter. "Hey!" He called after him. "Does this mean Charlie's going to be here _all the time_?!"

The response was the tiniest echo of a laugh.

* * *

**Hatter gives hugs to all reviewers! So go on, press the green button, right over there!**


	3. Chapter 3

I want to thank everyone so much for faving and reviewing this story! It makes me sooooo happy to hear from you guys! Now here's chapter three!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Hatter stared at the ceiling, trying and failing miserably to get some sleep. It wasn't the emotions of being back "home" in Wonderland, nor was it the fact that he had to sleep in something that had been provided by Jack Heart.

It was the fact that Charlie was snoring much too loudly in the front room.

Hatter groaned and buried his head under his pillow. "Thank you _so much_, Jack," he growled with much venom into the mattress.

He felt a hand gently touch his shoulder, and he leaned up onto his elbows to look into Alice's pale blue eyes in the moonlight. "I can't sleep either," she whispered.

"He'd be just as happy in a hammock on the front porch," he replied.

Alice reached up and played with a lock of Hatter's hair, which was ever defying gravity. "I'm not talking about Charlie."

Hatter raised an eyebrow at her. "Then what are you..." He trailed off as he thought about it, then a wicked grin plastered itself to his face. "Oh."

* * *

"What do you mean, _they aren't there_?" the Queen of Hearts - as she refused to be called any different - demanded, throwing a heavy hotel glass at Mad March's head. "Did you check Jack's apartment?"

"Lady, they aren't there," Mad March growled back in his mechanical voice. "I think I'd know if Hatter was there or not."

"Well then, where did they go, you sorry excuse for a tracker?" She glared at Mad March's face - or lackthereof, since his head had since been replaced with a blank mannequin. He was silent for a long moment. "Well?" she finally shouted.

"It's difficult to track here," Mad March said, referring to the strange new world. "Too much shit going on, it muddles the trail."

The Queen sighed and rubbed her temple, exasperated. She searched the room for some sort of relief from the oncoming migraine, reflecting on how easily she had procured the hotel suite. Oysters really needed to take better care of those little plastic cards they kept waving around.

"Perhaps... but it could be a false trail..." Mad March began.

"What the devil are you blathering about over there?" the Queen snapped, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"There was a note the broad wrote for her mother that I originally wrote off, but maybe she actually did elope to Paris with Hatter."

"What are you waiting around here for then! Go!"

* * *

Charlie awoke with a start, hearing strange noises somewhere inside the house. A red flag went up; he clutched his teddy bear tighter to his body as he stood from the sofa and started to inspect, edging through the darkness.

The source of the noise was the bedroom. An odd moaning was coming from within. Panic welled through his body - someone was attacking his charge! He stayed quiet as he tried the doorknob - locked, of course. He took a few steps back, squared his shoulders, and took a dash at the door with all his strength.

The door gave away and he fell to the floor. A chorus of "Hey, what the hell!" and Alice's shriek reached his ears.

Charlie stood and took on a regal pose. He saw no sign of any attacker in the room, which struck him as odd. The only people in the room were Alice and Hatter, both holding their sheets over themselves and looking as though they'd like nothing more than for the jabberwock to eat him alive.

"So... you weren't being attacked then?" Charlie asked, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

"OUT!"

* * *

A sound very different than those that had awakened him previously drove Charlie to rise from his bed on full alert. Tiny, clicking, metal noises could be heard at the front door. A lockpick? he wondered. Silently he approached the door, looking out through the small peephole. A figure, dressed from head to toe in black, was bent down toward the doorknob. Yes, a lockpick. He grabbed his sword from where it lay in a nearby chair.

Only a moment after he gripped the handle of his blade, the door swung open and the black figure stepped through the threshold. He could just barely tell the figure was a woman by the shape, for every inch was covered in cloth. He held his blade out in an attack stance.

"Oh, how cute," the figure said in a bored tone. "A Knight." She raised her gun at him.

Shots were fired as Charlie threw himself to the floor. The masked intruder ran back outside, and Hatter, now fully dressed, wove between the furniture and followed in pursuit.

Alice was ducked down next to Charlie in the next moment. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking worried.

"Yes, quite fine, thank you," Charlie said as she helped him back to his feet.

Hatter returned a few minutes later, panting for breath. "Lost 'em," he groaned, collapsing on the couch.

"Who was that?" Alice asked.

"Don't know," he replied. "Wish I'd actually hit the bastard." He looked at the wall as though he blamed it for taking the bullets he'd fired. "So much for a safe house."

* * *

**So there you have it, Chapter Three! You know what to do with that green button there... *hint hint***


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Reviews make me work faster, so if you like, please review!!!**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Number Ten hustled through the halls of the new royal home, a freshly rennovated Victorian style mansion on the outskirts of the city, dreading the news he was about to bring to the new king. He stopped outside of the doors to the royal bedroom, took a deep breath, then knocked on the hard wood.

Although it was not yet eight in the morning, Jack was fully dressed and ready to leave to check on Alice after her first night's stay. The knock on the door gave him quite a shock, he had expected to be gone before anyone else needed his attentions. He swung open the door to see the Club, Number Ten, looking at him nervously. "Yes?"

"Sir, there's been another..." he gulped. "...escape."

Jack sighed heavilly. Mad March and his mother being loose weren't enough? "Who was it?" he asked, wanting to run his head into the wall.

"Well..." Number Ten really, really didn't want to be the one to tell him, but it was his job... "Number 317-A."

Jack's eyes widened. "_Evangeline_?"

* * *

"Hey, nonny nonny, hey, nonny..." Chalie sang on the front porch, his voice flowing into the house via the screen door. Alice had opened the door to let the breeze through the house, airing out the slightly musty smell of it.

Hatter sighed, leaning his head on the back of the sofa, hat held in his lap. "That's gonna get real old, real fast," he said, pointing at the door.

"Oh, be nice," Alice said with a smile. She sat down next to him on the couch and handed him a hot cup of tea.

He stuck his hand out to her as if greeting her with a handshake. "Hi, name's David, more commonly known as Hatter, nice to meetcha."

"Ha ha," she said, rolling her eyes. She cuddled up cozily next to him, and he draped an arm around her. After a moment of silence, (excluding Charlie's continuous singing) she sighed. "God, I'm bored."

Hatter chuckled. "Join the club."

"There's not even a TV."

"So I've noticed."

"We could go buy one."

"Wonderland TV sucks."

"Well, then, what do we do to pass the time?"

"I can think of a few things."

"Hatter, we're not rabbits."

"I say they've got the right idea."

She playfully slapped his shoulder. After another moment of silence, she wondered aloud, "Who was that person last night?"

"Probably just some burglar, I wouldn't put too much thought in it," Hatter answered. "I'd worry if Mad March showed up."

Alice sat up and looked at his face. "What's the deal between you two, anyway?" she asked.

Hatter immediately looked uncomfortable. "Don' know what you're talkin' about."

"Hatter..." She looked at him skeptically.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don' wanna talk about it."

She gave a tiny "hmph" and stared at her cup of tea. Hatter sighed, not wanting to see here upset. "It's complicated," he said.

"Like how?"

"I'm kind of the person who killed him the first time," he said quickly, clearly wanting this conversation to end.

"Why would you do that?"

"I had to," he said, staring intensely at one spot on the carpet. "He found the Library and was going to tell the Queen."

"How did he find-"

"I can't talk about it anymore," Hatter said, standing suddenly, setting his cup on the coffee table and pushing past the screen door.

* * *

Hatter returned many hours later with a busted old shopping cart in tow, a television resting inside. Alice raised an eyebrow as she watched him lift it out of the cart and carry it to the living room. "I thought Wonderland TV sucked."

"It does," Hatter said, busying himself with hooking it up.

"You're avoiding our earlier conversation," she said. "That's what this is about."

"You won't be bored anymore."

"I still want to know about it, Hatter."

"I know!" he shouted, not looking back at her.

"Well, _excuse me _for wanting to know more about my boyfriend!" she shouted back.

"You don't need to know about this," he said.

"Why is it so wrong that I ask you about it?"

"You don't need to know!"

"I know I don't need to, but I want to!"

"Ask me anything! Anything _except_ about Mad March!"

"Why!"

He finally jumped up and wheeled around to face her, roaring, "_Because he's my brother_!"

* * *

**Sorry it's so short this time, but I really wanted to end with a DUN DUN DUUUUUN! moment. Reviews make me update faster, so......**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope everyone had a great Christmas!!! Sorry it was a bit of a long break, but Christmas took up a ton of my time... aww, you don't care, so let's get to what you're waiting for!**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Alice blinked, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her. "What?"

Hatter took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. "Told you," he said, much quieter now. "Complicated."

"How... what..." Alice didn't even know where to begin. She settled for flopping back into a reclining chair and saying nothing.

Hatter sat on the edge of the sofa and put his knees against hers, taking her hands in his. "I thought I could trust him," he said sadly with a note of bitterness. "I brought him to the Library with the thought that perhaps he could help us." He shook his head. "Turned out that he had been working for the Queen for years before then." Alice's hand tightened on his, but she said nothing. "He told me outright that he was going to kill me, then tell the Queen the whereabouts, so I did what I had to."

Alice opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her mind couldn't form words.

"Poor, brave soul," Charlie said suddenly from the front doorway, startling the two of them. "Betrayal of blood is the worst form of betrayal." Charlie bowed to Hatter, then straightened back into his knightly pose. "I swear my life to you as well, Harbing- er - Hatter."

After a slightly awkward moment, Hatter cleared his throat. "I'm going to... get a drink..." he said, giving Charlie a nod, then disappearing into the kitchen.

Alice stared at the place on the couch Hatter had just vacated. She had no idea he had gone through so much more than what he had already told her of the Rebellion. And what must it feel like to have a mockery of your brother hunting you?

* * *

Mad March sat patiently in the cargo hold of a passenger flight to Paris, sitting uncomfortably against a stack of other people's luggage. It was inconvenient to have to resort to this form of travel, but it was necessary.

His mind became fixed on Hatter as he searched through his computerized brain, and he felt a sudden surge of loathing. This feeling must have been remnants of his life before his death, because he had not been programmed with any knowledge of why he felt so strong a hatred for the man. As for Alice, the girl who was always by his side it seemed, well, the Queen was paying a pretty sum for her.

He cocked his mechanical head to the left as an announcement came over the PA system above. The captain was informing the people that take off would take place soon, so Mad March settled back and attempted to get comfortable.

* * *

There was a knock on the door, and Charlie, ever vigilant, looked through the peephole then allowed the visitor to enter. "Welcome, Your Highness," he said, bowing as Jack entered the room.

Alice came out of the bedroom with a smile on her face. "Jack," she said, giving him a brief hug. "I thought you said you were coming this morning." She glanced out the window at the dark alley.

"We've had a very busy day," Jack sighed. "Another prisoner escaped."

"Oh," Alice said as her eyes went wide. "Should we be worried?"

"You specifically, I don't think so," Jack replied. "But in general, everyone in Wonderland should worry about this one."

"Why?"

"This prisoner is insane, everyone is a potential target and she likes to, er, play with her victims."

"Well, that's bloody brilliant," Hatter said irritably as he came out of the kitchen and leaned against the door frame. "Wait, she?"

"Yes, she," Jack said. "One of my mother's favorite assassins. Until she started killing everything she found cute or adorable, that is."

"Cute?" Charlie said suddenly, jumping forward and shoving his face into Jack's. "_Cute_, you say?"

Jack raised an eyebrow at the Knight and pulled back several inches. "Er, yes, Charlie."

Charlie looked at him, a mixture of excitement and fear etched on his face. "A woman broke in here just last night, and she called me _cute_!"

Everyone stared at the Knight as though he was off his rocker - which everyone thought he already was in the first place. "If that's the case, why don't we just put an end to ourselves, save the baddies all the trouble?" Hatter said, a sarcastic smirk on his face.

"David..." Alice said in a warning tone.

"Oh, now I'm in trouble, she used my real name."

"Stop acting like a child just because you're grumpy that you told me about-"

"So, that explains the bullet holes in the wall, then?" Jack asked, trying to thwart any argument by changing the subject. "A break-in?"

"Sorry, Jack, it's not the best time," Alice said apologetically.

"Well, if she comes back, let me know."

"We can handle it," she assured him. "Charlie and Hatter are both armed, and I'm a black belt, remember?"

"How can I forget?" Jack replied, to which Hatter scoffed.

"Just... go?" she said, ushering him to the door. "For now?"

"Or else I'll use you for target practice, apparently I'm a bit rusty," Hatter said, grinning evilly at Jack's retreating form.

"And I'll come back when?" Jack asked, turning around once he and Alice were outside on the porch.

"Let's give it a few days?" Alice asked. "Hatter's a bit cross right now..."

"I hadn't noticed."

Unbeknownst to the people in the small house, someone watched them from across the deep, dark alleys from an abandoned building. Evangeline stared through a pair of binoculars at the front door as Jack Heart of all people left the odd assortment of characters and walked away. "Interesting..." she muttered to herself. "The target is in league with Jack Heart." She sat back with a chuckle and lowered her binoculars. "This is going to be so much fun..."

* * *

"Alice, I'm home!" Carol called as she opened the door to their apartment. "Did you have a nice night with David?" She said David's name with an undertone of bitterness; she still hadn't gotten down to the truth with either of them as to why, when they had supposedly first met, her daughter and he had practically eaten each other's faces right in front of her. She set her purse on the table and looked up toward the bedrooms. "Alice?" she called again, since there had been no answer.

Carol walked into Alice's bedroom, expecting to see her daughter curled in bed, but she wasn't there either. "Alice?" Carol repeated, her voice becoming quiet with worry. Then a thought struck her - Alice had spent the night with David, perhaps she was staying _at_ David's.

She walked back to her purse and rummaged through it for her cell phone, dialing Alice's number once it was found. Consequentially, she heard her daughter's phone from an end table next to the living room sofa. She stalked over and picked up the phone, glaring at it as though it should be plastered to Alice and not be allowed to be left behind.

Then she noticed the note the phone had been laying on. She slowly picked it up, fearful of what she would read. Hear fears came true about two words in. "_Eloped_?" she cried, hand over her heart.

* * *

"I hope my mom is doing alright," Alice said as she lowered the blankets on her side of the bed. "You're still upset, aren't you," she said as she climbed in after no response from Hatter.

Hatter grunted, his mouth full of foam and his toothbrush sticking out. He spat, rinsed his mouth, and walked into the bedroom to stand beside the bed. "S'pose, maybe not," he said, taking off his hat and tossing it onto the decorative headboard. He dropped his coat into a nearby chair, then threw his shirt and pants to the floor, leaving him in a wifebeater and boxers as he climbed under the sheets next to her.

"I'm sorry I pushed you into telling me like that," Alice said, feeling horrible about their fighting all day. "I really shouldn't have-"

"No," Hatter said, looking at her remorsefully. "You were right, we do need to know more about each other."

A silence passed between them as Alice reached over and turned off her bedside lamp. "So you're not upset?"

"Not anymore."

"That's too bad, because I was going to try a few things to cheer you up."

"In that case, I'm very, very upset."

* * *

**So there you have it! Reviews motivate me, so..... **


	6. Chapter 6

**Here ya go, and so quick this time too! *happy dances***

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Time passed slowly with boredom, but the three that lived in the house fell into a routine; eat, sleep, watch TV, feed the horses, hang out, sleep, eat. Not much changed in their day to day lives, not even another appearance from the masked invader.

Hatter whistled a tune from a musical Alice had forced him to watch - he would die swearing he hadn't actually enjoyed it even though he had - as he rummaged through the fridge looking for something to eat. Alice walked into the kitchen from the living room, carrying a book in her hand that she'd borrowed from the new Wonderland Library. She sat on a barstool and placed her elbows up on the counter. "I can't believe the Queen wanted to destroy such beautiful literature," she sighed.

"Stupid is as stupid does," Hatter quoted from another movie, although what it really meant to this conversation he had no idea - he just liked saying it, and, well, the Queen did want everyone ignorant, he supposed.

"We don't happen to have any ice cream, do we?" Alice asked.

Hatter opened the freezer and proceeded to dig through the contents until he found a pint buried beneath a frozen lump of ground beef. "Here ya go," he said, handing it to her. "What's the matter?" he asked as she dug in the drawer next to her for a spoon.

"What do you mean?" she asked, taking a bite of the chocolate goodness.

"Well, you generally only get cravings like that when you're depressed or upset," he observed. "So, what is it? Miss your mum again?"

Alice laughed and took another bite from the carton. "No, I just wanted some ice cream." She ate the ice cream in silence as he continued to move things around in the fridge. Alice furrowed her eyebrows as a thought came to her suddenly and she put the ice cream down. "Hatter?"

"Hm?"

"How long have we been in Wonderland?"

Hatter thought about it a moment, then answered as he pulled out some left over chinese noodles, "Wonderland time, or Oyster time?"

"Wonderland."

"Um, about thirty days, more or less," he replied.

"Oh."

Silence again as he ate his food, watching her worriedly. She was getting more and more upset by the second, so he abandoned his noodles and went to her side. "What is it?"

"I... I should have had my... monthly by now," she answered.

Hatter raised an eyebrow at her, not quite getting what she was saying. Then it hit him like a jabberwock had fallen on him.

Oh.

Shit.

* * *

Mad March let out a sigh of relief as he heard the last person leave the plane and he made his way out of the hatch below him onto the tarmac. He straightened his suit and ducked into the shadows of the plane, then followed the path of the airport personnel back to the large building. He ducked inside and made his way to one of the security outposts. The girl at the counter looked shocked at his appearance, then gathered herself professionally and asked, "How may I help you, sir?"

He pulled a couple of pictures from his breast pocket and lay them on the counter. "These two people should have arrived from New York City last night. Has anyone seen them?"

The girl looked at the pictures, then looked up at him. "I'm afraid I can't give you the information without authorization, sir."

Shit. "Thank you anyway." He stalked away, mad as hell, but he'd get his hands on the security tapes in some way. That was the only chance now.

* * *

Alice began to hyperventilate. Oh. My. God. She could handle falling through mirrors and into crazy, ass-backwards worlds, wars with demented Queens, and even an assassin or two, but this...

"Alice, breathe," Hatter said, sitting on the barstool next to her. "Alice!"

Her blood was rushing in her ears, she could barely hear Hatter's voice over her rising panic. Breathe, she tried to tell herself.

"Alice, look at me," Hatter said softly, taking her hands in his. He lifted her head by the chin to look him in the eyes. "Breathe."

She took a deep breath and began to take ever slowing breaths until finally she was breathing normally. Then she burst into tears.

"Shh..." Hatter said, pulling her close to him and stroking her hair. "Everything is going to be okay," he whispered. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

"Hmm," Evangeline mumbled as she watched the house yet again. She was ready to play now, after watching them for so long, she'd figured out what she could do to make them hurt before they died.

So she walked right up to their front door and knocked.

The door opened and Hatter's gun was pointed at her face. "Hello again," he growled. He flicked the gun, motioning for her to get inside the house, so she walked inside, the gun never pointing anywhere but at her. "Sit." She sat in the reclining chair.

Alice walked out of the kitchen in a somber mood, jumping about a mile when she looked up and saw the scene going on in her living room. "Hatter, what the hell?"

"She knocked on the door," he answered.

Alice stared at the masked woman in surprise. Why would she do that?

"Fiend!" Charlie shouted as he came into the room after having relieved himself. He attempted to remove his sword from its sheath, resulting in it clattering to the floor. "Brigand!" he said, picking it up and brandishing it at the girl.

"Take off the mask," Hatter commanded.

Evangeline obeyed, a wicked grin on her face. She shook out her long blonde hair as it came free from being shoved in the mask, and stared at each of the group in turn.

"Who are you?" Alice asked.

A chilling laugh erupted from the girl, soft, but menacing.

Alice stepped up next to Hatter and put her hand on his shoulder. "Go get Jack," she said, reaching out for him to place the gun in her hand.

"Hell no," he replied. "I'm not leaving you alone with this crazy bitch."

"I am unarmed," the girl said in an innocent, sing-song voice.

"And I'm an elephant," Hatter spat at her. "No," he repeated to Alice.

"I'm a black belt-" she started to protest.

"And Charlie's got a bloody sword, I know," Hatter said. "Send Charlie."

Alice sighed, then looked back at the Knight with her eyebrows raised. Charlie saluted her. "I travel to the ends of the world and further for you, Alice of Legend!" He trotted out the door and Alice sighed as she watched him attempt three times to climb onto his horse before succeeding.

"I'm going to ask again," Hatter said. "Who. Are. You?"

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**Cliffhanger!!! I may be motivated to save you from said cliff if you review....**


	7. Chapter 7

***grabs your hand and pulls you from cliff* There, better? Okay, here it goes!**

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**Chapter Seven**

The girl sat in silence, sporadic giggles escaping at odd moments. Hatter stared at her from the kitchen door, having gotten up in frustration and giving Alice the gun, retreating to gather his wits. He had to calm down, too much was happening to him all at once. He absentmindedly picked up a fresh snickerdoodle off of a plate Alice had baked that morning. He never took his eyes off the girl for more than a second.

"Stop with the laughing!" Alice yelled suddenly. As if she wasn't on edge enough already.

"Easy, love," Hatter said with a nervous chuckle, sitting next to her on the couch and taking the gun back.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Charlie arrived with Jack in tow. They saw Jack whisper something to Charlie, then he came inside alone, leaving the Knight with his horses. "Are you alright?" he asked as he rushed into the room.

"We're fine, for now," Alice replied, not getting up from the sofa.

Jack walked over and sat in a chair on the opposite end of the coffee table from the blonde assassin and stared at her. She gave him a giggle. "Nice of you to join the party, Jack."

"Was I invited by you?" he asked, retrieving his gun from his coat pocket.

"Indeed, you were, although our hosts did not know it," she answered. "Now let the games begin."

"No games," Hatter said. "In case you haven't noticed, we have the upper-hand."

"Physically, yes," she crooned. "Psychologically and emotionally, no."

"Mind games?" Jack asked. "Quite the departure from your usual M.O."

"You are business, the Knight is pleasure," she said, giggling a little bit at the sight of Charlie through the window.

"She's mad as a bag of squeaky toys," Hatter said with an eyebrow raised.

"You don't know the half of it," Jack replied.

"Round one is Anger," the girl said from her dreamy revirie. A creepy smile crept onto her face and made Alice shiver. "Why didn't you tell them my name, Jack?"

"It wasn't neccessary at the time," he answered.

"Don't you find it at all neccessary now?"

"Not particularly."

"Aww, come on, Jack." she leaned forward in the chair, giving him a puppy dog face. "Tell them my name."

Jack looked uncomfortable. "Evangeline," he said with a defeated sigh.

"Excuse me?" Hatter said, rounding on Jack now. "That's not possible."

"What?" Alice asked, confused. "Who's Evangeline?"

"Evangeline died ten years ago, she can't possibly-"

"But I am, dear Hatter," the girl called Evangeline said with a sweet sigh.

"Will anyone answer me?" Alice asked angrily.

"Evangeline Heart," Hatter spat the name. "She's Jack's sister."

"What?" Alice said, now facing Jack as well. "Your sister?"

"Unfortunately, Alice," he answered, looking ashamed. "My mother declared her dead when she began her training."

"Training?"

"To become an assassin."

"Round two!" Evangeline squealed. "Jealousy!" She was grinning ear to ear. "On a related note to the current topic of my training, can you guess who trained me?"

Hatter glared at her with the urge to rip out her pretty blonde hair by the scalp. "I'm guessing it wasn't the ice cream man."

"Tut, tut," she scolded. "No need to be rude," she laughed.

"Mad March..." Alice said slowly and quietly.

"Bravo!" Evangeline clapped her hands together politely. "Or Andrew, as his family called him." She kept laughing beyween sentences, it made the environment even more strained with tension. "But he was more of a brother to me than he ever was to you..."

"_Shut up_!" Hatter roared, standing up and firing his gun at her.

"_Hatter_!" Alice screamed.

Evangeline stared at him, her angellic smile never faultering as the bullet flew so close to her face it rustled her hair. "Temper, temper." Her eyes snapped over to Jack. "You." She spoke as Alice pulled the back of Hatter's jacket to make him sit back down. "You can't stand to see the woman you love with this sort of-" Her eyes flickered to Hatter, then back to Jack. "-_riff-raff_, can you?"

Jack's hands tightened, one on the handle of his gun, the other on the left armrest of the chair, but he stayed silent, looking anywhere but at Hatter or Alice.

"Jack, you went to school, so can you tell me what results from the frequent mating rituals such as those in which these two have been participating?"

Alice gasped and felt suddenly exposed - this girl had seen everything. And that means she knows about... "No..." Alice attempted to say, but it got caught in her throat.

"Don't go there," Hatter growled.

Now Jack's eyes met Alice's. "Alice, you're-"

"Now I really must be going, I'll be back after your demise to pick up my toys," Evangeline said, cutting off his sentence. She then popped a mushroom into her mouth.

"_NO_!" Hatter yelled, jumping for her, but it was too late; she was gone in a puff of smoke. Then his mind started to race. She was leaving, but they were still alive. That meant the place was rigged to blow at any second. He grabbed Alice and started to run. "_RUN_!" he yelled.

Alice, Charlie, and Jack didn't need to be told twice.

Less than thirty seconds later, the house exploded.

Evangeline watched the flames and plume of smoke from several stories above in apparent glee. "Mission accomplished."

* * *

**Did I give you enough OMG in there? If so (or if not) review and tell me so!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**It's here, it's here! Sorry it's short, but I wanted this chapter to end with a sort of aww, where's more? feeling, so ha ha ha. Anyway, if you like, please review.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

Jack left Charlie, Hatter, and Alice at the Knight's fortress in the woods and headed back to his home to start a higher efficiency search party for Evangeline, leaving quite the awkwardness between himself and Alice at the unmentionable "elephant in the room." Alice lay on Charlie's bed as Hatter busied himself with making the fire alongside the Knight. She felt lost, which was a new feeling for her, having no idea what lay before her. Hatter, on the other hand, had a nagging, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, making him feel like he was going to toss his cookies.

After Hatter finished making the fire and Charlie had started his fire-tending contraption, he gathered the courage to sit next to her. She rolled over to face him, looking extremely stressed. He leaned over her, placing his left arm on the other side of her, bracing himself above her. "We need to talk about it," he finally said with a sigh.

"I'm scared," she brought herself to admit. "I'm scared of that Evangeline finding us and killing us for real, I'm scared of Mad March and the Queen still looking for us, I'm scared of going back to my mother and having to explain to her how I'm pregnant after only a couple of days, and..." She trailed off.

"And?" Hatter asked.

"I was afraid you'd leave."

Hatter sighed, a mixture of amusement and frustration at this statement. "I'm not going to ditch the woman I love just because she's having a baby, _my_ baby. What kind of creep do you take me for?"

Alice stared at him, her eyes starting to tear up for the millionth time that day. "You love me?"

"Yes, you silly, stupid girl," Hatter groaned, then kissed her.

"I love you too," she said when he pulled back.

Suddenly he got a crazed look in his eye, and a grin crossed his lips. "Marry me."

* * *

Mad March studied the airport security shift twice before deciding it was time to invade. Sixteen long hours of detailing their activities later, he sneaked through the air ducts and into the room where all the surveillance cameras were inspected, snapping one man's neck with a quick twist, shooting the other with his silenced gun.

He flopped into one of the spinning chairs and turned to face the bank of monitors, scanning through the past two days of security footage. After he'd finally made it through everything for the past _three_ days, he cried out in frustration. He leaned back in the chair, making it spin to face the other wall of video screens. A current feed was running on this side of the room, and he spotted a familiar woman exiting the gate of the arriving flight from New York. He searched his mind for why he recognized her, then realized she was the woman in all the portraits hanging in Alice's apartment. It was the girl's mother.

He crawled back out through the air ducts and back to the floor of the airport. He searched the crowds frantically, not wanting to lose the woman. Finally he spotted her in a secluded area, next to a bank of pay phones, where security couldn't easily see them.

"Mrs. Hamilton," he droned as he approached her. She stared at him, a what-the-hell look plastered to her face. "I was wondering if you could tell me the whereabouts of your daughter, Alice."

"Like I'd tell a freak like you anything," Carol spat. "Why are you looking for her anyway?" she demanded.

"That is classified information," he answered. "I really do need you to tell me where she is," he said, opening his coat and revealing the handle of his gun to her.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him. "Excuse me?" she growled. "You're really going to threaten me with a gun in public?"

"Yes."

"And you think I'm just going to roll over and take it?" she asked with a snarl. She then dropped her carry on bag to the floor as she gave him a roundhouse kick to the head. He dropped to the ground, his gun falling out of his coat and skidding along the ground, and she pinned him there with her foot before he could move. "My daughter is a black-belt, you think I didn't pick anything up?" She positioned her foot over his collarbone and picked up the gun, pointing it at his lack of a face. "You won't be looking for Alice anymore." She then brought her free foot down, with all the force she could muster, straight into his ceramic head.

She put the gun back into his coat, not wanting to be caught with it in her carry on, and searched him for any clues as to who he was. She found only a key to a room at a five-star hotel back in New York. She hopped on the next flight back to New York, knowing that if that strange man hadn't found Alice in Paris, she definitely wouldn't.

Back in New York, an electronic voice rang through the Queen's hotel room, "Communications terminated."

The Queen balked at the little hand held device, then dropped the transmitter back to the table. Well, if Mad March was dead again, she would just have to go back to Wonderland and get Evangeline to do his job.

* * *

**See? Short. Sorry. Please review. Reviews make me happy. I promise the next will be longer!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ta-Da! Chapter nine, lickety-split! Onward, ho!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

"Marry me."

Alice's heart was racing. All of her old commitment anxieties were attempting to resurface. No, she would _not_ let that happen, this was David, her Hatter, she loved him. She wouldn't allow herself to screw this relationship up as well just because of a little commitment. "Okay," she blurted out before her body could stop her.

"Well, that was romantic," Hatter joked, knowing full well he hadn't exactly been on one knee when he'd posed the question.

"Congratulations," a voice that was definitely not Charlie's said from behind them. They knew that voice and the silhouette against the fire; Jack had returned.

"You really need to stop sneakin' up on us," Hatter groaned at him, standing and helping Alice from her laying position. "Or one of these days you'll get a good sledgehammer to the nose." He cracked the knuckles of his right hand for emphasis.

"I've arranged living quarters for the three of you at my home," Jack said, looking sadly at Hatter. He was jealous, true, but if he made Alice happy, then so be it. "Of course, once we've arrived, it means that we cannot leave again until Evangeline, Mad March, and my mother have been recaptured."

"Doesn't that sound like great fun?" Hatter said, mock excitedly. "As much as I'll hate it, we have to accept."

"Really?" Alice asked, turning to look at him. "We'll be under the same roof as Jack for God knows how long," she said in a lower tone.

"I know," Hatter said with a resigned sigh. "But I'm going to take anything he offers if it will keep you safe."

"Okay then," she said to Jack. It was then that she noticed the groups of Suits along the tree line. Their new bodyguards. "Let's go."

Their new "home" was about the equivalent in size of the one that had blown up, a suite that was like a house inside of the larger royal home. The entire western wing of the third floor was theirs, and Jack made it painfully obvious that he did not wish to see either of them; for two months they lived there and they saw almost nothing of him except in passing. Luckily for them, this time Charlie did not have to live with them, he lived on the floor below, so they could have complete privacy when they wished it.

It became quite apparent during these two months that Alice was indeed pregnant, and she was beginning to show, a fact which no doubt added to jack's not wanting to be around the happy couple. Jack's "love" however was another matter; Duchess and Alice had become fast friends, much to Alice's surprise, and Duchess was enthralled about the baby.

In New York, as time passed much slower, the Queen gathered her few belongings from the hotel room, slipping the Stone of Wonderland onto her finger as she made her way out the door. She needed to return home and find her daughter, the only one she could trust to take out that dreadful girl who'd taken away everything.

Little did she know, Carol stood at the end of the hall, having been watching that very hotel room for any activity since she'd returned home that night. It was now early morning. She watched the curiously dressed woman and followed at a safe distance, not wanting to be seen. She followed safely through the streets, not nearly as crowded as they would have been later in the day, and through the alleys. Soon they reached an all too familiar neighborhood, her own. After walking by her own renovated warehouse apartment, she followed down another set of alleyways before stopping at a corner.

The other woman had paused in front of an extremely old looking mirror, propped up against a brick wall. Wait, Carol thought, this is where David supposedly found Alice, isn't it? She watched attentively as something in front of the woman began to glow - her hand? - and then the glass of the mirror began to shimmer. Then she watched in awe as the woman stepped through the glass and disappeared.

Carol stepped up to the old mirror and touched the frame. How long was I there? Alice had asked. _There_. Through this mirror?

"Mother!" Evangeline cried, jumping from the rafters and sweeping her mother into a tight hug, quickly letting go. She was so happy, thrilled to see her after waiting for these long two months, dodging the Suits and surviving anyway she had to. She'd been waiting at the Station for so very long.

"My darling girl," the Queen said, patting her daughter on the cheek. "How long has Mummy been away?"

"Three months!" Evangeline said, still in an excited tone. "But Mother, the girl you told me about, that Alice! She's gone, I've taken care of her! She'd come here as you thought might happen!"

The Queen looked at her happily. "Why, that's excellent news!" She literally rubbed her hands together. She and her daughter walked out of the Station side by side. "And the Hatter?"

"Also gone, as well as Jack, and unfortunately the Knight." She pouted after this statement. "I did _so_ want to play with him."

"Wonderful, wonderful!" the Queen said, elated. "There should be no problems gathering my still loyal subjects then..."

A few minutes later, a rather different personage stepped through the glass and into Looking Glass Station. Carol gaped at the sheer size and decor of it, the stained glass windows, the textured wood paneled walls. At this point all thoughts of the strange woman were driven from her mind. What was this place?

She stepped outside and backed up to the wall; a steep drop at the edge of the pavement led down into a chasm of more and more buildings. She stood there in shock until she noticed group of men turn around the corner, heading her way. The one in front was dressed in a sort of robe, an oddly shaped hat upon his head, while the three men accompanying him were dressed in suits and sunglasses, like the Secret Service. He paused for a moment at the sight of her, then made a bee-line straight for her.

"Excuse me?" he asked. "You look rather lost, ma'am." This struck him as odd, could she perhaps be an Oyster?

"What is this place?" she asked.

Yes, definitely an Oyster. But how did she get here? "Wonderland." He turned to the Suits behind him. "Send out an alert - the Looking Glass is active."

"Wonderland?" Carol repeated. "Like in the story?"

"Yes, ma'am." He had to get her back to the other side. "Come on, this way..." he attempted to usher her back into the Station.

"Is my daughter here?" Carol demanded, not moving another step until he answered.

"Your daughter's name?"

"Alice."

To her surprise, he chuckled. "Oh yes. She's here."

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**Loyalists? Hmm, the plot thickens. Please click the little green button right over there....**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten! Finally! Sorry it took a little longer than usual, I was sick (I'm anemic) so it took a while.... but your wait is over!!!**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

"Mom?" Alice said in shock as her mother was escorted into the room by Number Nine. Hatter, hearing this exclamation, jumped off of the sofa in alarm and hid behind it so Carol wouldn't see him. Alice stood, leaving her conversation with Duchess, and ran to her mother. "Mom!" she hugged her tightly, then took a step back. "How did you get here?"

"I followed a weird woman through some mirror in a warehouse, but that was after the weird guy in Paris was asking... about..." Carol's eyes had been looking over her daughter, and were now locked on the small bump of her daughter's stomach. Her eyes darted back up to meet Alice's. "Alice?"

Her mother looked ready to panic. "Uh, Mom," Alice started. "Well, you see..."

Duchess stood and came to the rescue. "Mrs. Hamilton? I'm Duchess," she held out her hand in greeting, which Carol shook dazedly. "Time passes much differently here than in your world. I don't know how long it's been where you're from, time fluctuates, you see, but it's been over three months since Alice came here."

"Three... _months_?" Carol repeated. "But... I don't..." The sentence ended there, because a second later, she had blacked out.

"Mom!" Alice said, dropping to her knees beside Carol's unconscious form.

Hatter now dared to peek around the couch. "Good, she didn't get a chance to throw anything at me."

"Hatter..." Alice said, giving him "the look."

"So... the Queen is back?" Duchess asked, kneeling beside Alice.

"Sounds like it," Alice groaned. "I'm guessing she didn't charge the looking glass enough that it could still be open."

"Quite right," Jack said as he entered the room. "I've had Suits put on extra security detail at the Station in the event that my mother should return there. They've confirmed that the Looking Glass is inactive now."

"What do you thing she'll be planning?" Hatter asked.

"Can we please get my mother off the floor?" Alice said with a bit of anger.

"Yes, of course," Jack said, motioning to two Suits behind him. They lifted Carol and took her out of their room. "Take her downstairs to the empty suite there," he called after them. "As for my mother's plans... We're guessing she's going to try to gather any former supporters and create an army."

"What about Evangeline?" Alice asked, sitting on the couch next to Hatter.

"Well, she must believe we are dead still, otherwise she'd have attempted to kill us again by now," Jack answered. "However, once she's rejoined my mother, there's no telling when they'll discover the truth - that we're still alive."

"And when they do?" Hatter asked.

"That will only fuel their efforts to form their army, won't it?" Alice offered.

"So now all we can do is make sure our own resistance is strong enough. And we wait," Jack said, then left the room, Duchess close behind.

Alice sighed as the door closed and leaned into Hatter's embrace. "I hate not being able to do anything," she grumbled.

"Want me to take your mind off of things?" Hatter asked, leaning down and nibbling on her earlobe.

Alice giggled. "You have the most insatiable libido known to mankind," she laughed.

"I know, isn't it great?"

"I'd rather do some sparring, I'm not really in the mood for-"

"_Sparring_?" Hatter repeated. "_Seriously_?"

"What is _that _supposed to mean?" Alice asked, standing up and crossing her arms.

"Well, you're_ pregnant_."

"So?" Alice said indignantly. "What, because I'm pregnant, I have to be the Mary Jane of the situation?"

"The who the what now?"

"Mary Jane," Alice answered. "_Spiderman_? Come on, Hatter, we watched the movie together!"

"Oh yeah," he said, a look of comprehension on his face. Then he stood to face her. "Sit down."

"Why? Afraid of sparring with me?" she challenged.

He paused for a moment. "No," he finally said, then nudged her back to the couch. She sat down, giving him the evil eye. He kneeled in front of her with a sly grin. "So you'd really object to this..." He began to trace the inside of her thigh with his finger gently. She shivered at his touch. "Or this..." He lifted her left leg so it was straight and up on his shoulder, and he began to kiss his way from her knee along her thigh.

Before he knew what had happened, he was out of breath and on his back on the other side of the couch, staring at Alice's upside down face beaming at him from her position on the back of the sofa. She'd completely flipped him over the sofa. "I told you. Not in the mood."

A few hours later, there was a tentative knock on their door, which Alice opened to see her mother and Charlie standing in the hall. "Good evening, Alice of Legend," Charlie greeted, bowing low.

Alice had tried breaking him of that, but old habits die hard, she guessed. "Hey, Charlie," she said. "Hi, Mom."

Carol swept Alice into a hug. "Oh, Sweetie," she said. "Charlie's just told me everything." She held her daughter's shoulders and stood back to look at her. "Why didn't you tell me about all of this before?"

"Mom, it's Wonderland," Alice said. "You'd have thought I was crazy."

"Like I didn't when you and David began to kiss like that?" Carol said with a weak laugh. "Where is he anyway?"

Hatter peeked his head out of their bedroom. "Hey, Mrs. H," he said as he nervously advanced, tipping his hat to her. Then he braced himself to be hit by a storm of flying objects.

To his surprise, she hugged him. "Thank you for taking care of Alice," she said.

"Um, you're welcome?"

Then she punched him in the shoulder. "That's for knocking her up."

"Mom!"

"S'okay," Hatter said, rubbing the spot she'd hit. "I deserved it."

Charlie and Hatter wandered over to the sofa, Charlie admiring the television as he always did when it was on, having never seen one before Hatter had brought one to their previous home. Carol smiled at Charlie, then turned to her daughter. "You know, I do like that Knight of yours."

Alice raised an eyebrow at her mother. "_Charlie_?" she asked in a flat tone.

"He's very charming," Carol said, then ambled off to join the boys in front of the tube. Alice involuntarily shuddered at the thought.

* * *

**Carol...and... CHARLIE!!!!! AGH! *scrubs brain* ANYWAY...... Please press teh green button!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Took enough time, eh folks? Sorry I fell off the face of the planet. Hope you're all still interested. Just FYI, I hate this chapter. Maybe you guys will enjoy it.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

"How about this one?" Alice asked, pressing the earbud of her iPod to Hatter's ear. She had been thrilled when Hatter had showed her the power adapters for electronics from home when they had first returned to Wonderland, and very excited to find her iPod had been in her pocket when the house exploded. Now she and Hatter were trying to figure out what the song at their wedding would be.

"Hallelujah" played and Hatter listened to it for a moment. "It's good, but I'm not feeling it for our dance."

"Well, we've got to pick one soon, the wedding is only a week away."

This was a fact Hatter knew only too well. They had decided to get married so soon because they might not live long enough otherwise once the inevitable war broke out. He'd been assaulted by a tailor multiple times in the past week being fitted for his tuxedo, and picked a wedding ring for Alice out of a jeweler's catalogue. He was anxious to get it over with, especially since if they ever made it back to New York, they'd just have to have another wedding to make it legal there as well.

Sick of wedding talk, he opted to change the subject to that of their baby. "Speaking of picking things, let's talk about baby names."

"Okay," Alice said with a pleased giggle. She cuddled closer to him on the sofa and turned off the music. "What if it's a boy?"

Hatter looked at the ceiling. He wanted to think of something smart, something different. A literary figure to name his son after perhaps? "What do you think of..." He thought for one more moment. "Dodger?"

Alice repeated the name. "Dodger. Like in _Oliver Twist_?" Hatter nodded. Alice smiled at him. "I kind of like it."

"Okay, well if I named our son, you name our daughter," Hatter said, happy he had come up with something good with absolutely no previous thought. But he had absolutely no ideas for girls' names.

"I was thinking something with a sh- at the beginning, like Charlotte or Cheyenne," Alice replied. "Cheyne?"

"Shane?" Hatter repeated.

"C-H-E-Y-N-E." Alice spelled out for him. "Not many girls with that name, right?"

"Well, that's because it's a boy's name," Hatter joked.

"Whatever. Do you like it?" Alice asked.

"Yes?" Hatter answered. "We also have nearly five months to decide anyway, so no rush."

"Unlike our wedding, which still needs a song for our dance," Alice said.

"Damn."

* * *

"I am walking Alice of legend down the aisle," Charlie said as he held Alice's arm in the hallway outside of the room serving as a chapel. He glowed with an almost fatherly pride.

"Charlie, for the millionth time, it's just Alice," she replied with a laugh. "You're seeing my mom, aren't you?" she asked suddenly.

"I - well, I..." Charlie stuttered, turning red. "I am perhaps courting your fair mother..."

"Right," Alice said with a nod. "So drop the 'Alice of legend' crap already." Only a moment later, the bridal march began to play in the ballroom. Alice took a deep breath, then the doors swung open.

Hatter's breath was knocked out of him when he saw Alice walking down the aisle in that white dress on Charlie's arm. His mind raced over every moment they'd been together, trying to find one second where she looked more radiant than at this moment. Perhaps the moment she had first seen him in her world, or even the moment he had started falling for her that first night around Charlie's firepit. But no, nothing came close. He absentmindedly attempted to adjust his hat, forgetting that Carol had confiscated it and forced a comb through his hair before approaching the altar. "Mad as a basket of fish," he'd called her, earning him a good spritzing of hair spray as well.

Alice stepped up to him and Charlie placed her hands into his, turning to face one another. She knew her eyes were not going to be dry for long, she was tearing up already. Hatter looked as though he'd been hit over the head with a mallet, though just as handsome as ever. A little too clean for her taste though, so she reached a hand up and mussed his hair to look a bit more normal, making Carol gasp in protest.

"Hi," Hatter choked.

"Hi," Alice managed to whisper back.

"Dearly beloved," the faux priest began; there wasn't really any organized religion in Wonderland, so they'd settled for the ceremony to be officiated by Number Ten. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Alice Jane Hamilton to David James Levy..."

Jack never showed up.

"He's pouting," Duchess said when Alice approached her outside the ballroom as the "chapel" was converted into a reception hall.

"He's the one paying for all of this," Alice said, motioning around them with the arm that wasn't weaved with Hatter's.

"I am not complaining one bit about that," Hatter joked. He lifted her hand up and pointed at the new wedding ring that now adorned her finger, a gold band with a pearl set in the center, flanked by two white diamonds. "You know how much that thing cost?"

Alice elbowed him and turned back to Duchess. "It's wrong for him to keep acting like this when you're so obviously in love with him."

Duchess sighed. "The heart wants what the heart wants," she replied wistfully.

"Yeah, but he just paid for his wants' wedding," Hatter said, tugging on Alice's arm to go into the ballroom.

"Enough about the money!" Alice whispered at him.

"Go dance," Duchess said with a heartbroken smile.

The song they had chosen had just began playing, the tones of the piano filling the room as they headed to the designated dance area. "I hate dancing," Hatter joked as John Hiatt's voice entered into the music.

"When the road gets dark  
And you can no longer see  
Just let my love throw a spark  
And have a little faith in me  
And when the tears you cry  
Are all you can believe  
Just give these loving arms a try  
And have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me  
Have a little faith in me

And when your secret heart  
Cannot speak so easily  
Come here darling, from a whisper start  
And have a little faith in me  
And when your back's against the wall  
Just turn around and you, you will see  
I will catch you, I will catch your fall  
Just have a little faith in me ..."

Hatter swept her across the floor gracefully, surprising her with moves she would never have expected from him. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he answered the silent question, albeit with a slightly bitter undertone. "My brother and I were forced into dancing lessons until I was ten." His voice cracked at this mention of his brother, a fact that did not escape Alice's attention.

"What happened to your parents?" Alice asked. She'd asked before, of course, but he'd only say that they died, nothing more.

Hatter looked distantly over her shoulder, staring at a spot on the wall. "I was twelve. Andrew was fifteen." He cleared his throat. "They were a part of the revolution long before I was. Dodo's right hands. They ran the tea shoppe as their cover, that was before the introduction of teas from the Hearts Casino. But they were found out, probably ratted by my brother himself. Then it was off with their heads. It was a public execution."

"Oh my God..." Alice said, her eyes clouded over with tears she hadn't allowed to fall. "Hatter..."

"Hey," he said, looking back at her with a nervous grin. "Don't be like that." He ran a finger beneath her eye to dry her tears. "I was a big boy. Took over the business. Then came the Hearts teas, and I joined the revolution myself, learned to defend myself... Yes, that means with guns."

"Well, let's hope we're back in New York to raise our kids."

"Yeah, because New York City is such a safe place," Hatter said sarcastically.

* * *

"So the little wench got married today," the Queen said with a grimace. She glared at her daughter beside her, the sole reason Alice and Hatter were still alive at all. "A shame we are not quite prepared for our attack, because this would be the opportune moment."

"Only a few more months, Your Highness, once our numbers are up," her general said with a bow.

"It's taking too long," the Queen whined. "We need more Oysters."

"We can't collect more than we already are each day, ma'am, our serum cannot be crafted that quickly."

The Queen pursed her lips. "Fine," she said bitterly. "Only a few more months, then..."

* * *

**Hope you liked it. Don't know when next chapter will get done, I havent started more than the outline, so bear with me. Please hit the comment button!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm hoping you all like this chapter, it starts out a bit weird because I didn't know how to start it, but... I got through it with what I needed to say, so there.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Months passed in relative peace in Wonderland; Jack and his men were investigating the Queen's movements and weren't around much, leaving a forlorn Duchess behind as Alice grew quite large and nearing her due date. In our world, however fast time had passed compared to Wonderland's schedule, it had slowed down, nearly matching the time lapse exactly. This rose much alarm among Carol and Alice's co-workers, as they had both vanished without a trace and were presumed dead after disappearing for over eight months.

But as interesting as their supposed deaths are, our story unfolds back in Wonderland, because no one cares what Bob the Black Belt has to say about anything.

The Queen stood on a raised platform, staring out at the amassed troops her minions had gathered. She admired the vial she held in her hand, which was raised to her eye level and filled with a clear, slightly pink liquid. This serum, created by her genius scientists (as genius as they could be without Carpenter anyway) made any Oyster it was administered to into a mindless drone. A "stasis" the white-coats had called it, a state in which they could live without food or drink, frozen in faculties but every bit as movable as when they were lucid. All they needed was orders.

The warehouse deep in the woods was not ideal living quarters for the Queen, but luckily the time had come to move her army and reclaim the throne. Her eyes roamed over the slack-jawed Oysters, a devil's grin playing on her lips. There were also those Loyalists who had come to her side when she'd escaped, and they were to serve as her personal squad, glorified bodyguards and spies into Jack's regime. To her right stood Evangeline, who jittered with anticipation for the upcoming war. She had requested a special "toy", one that the Queen was only too happy to give her.

"Would you like some tea?" Hatter asked as he joined Alice in the living room. She was poring over a baby magazine that was a few years old, scavenged from our world like so much of Wonderland seemed to be.

"As long as there's no Oysters in it," she replied, her usual response to the question.

He handed her a cup and sat next to her, pulling her close to his side. "Our baby is gigantic," he said after a moment, putting his hand on her belly. As he spoke, the child kicked as if in response to his voice.

"Maybe your Wonderland sperm and my Oyster egg created demon spawn," Alice joked.

Hatter began to laugh, then stopped, his eyebrows furrowed. "What if..."

Alice looked at him, appalled. "You can't seriously think that, especially since I just made that up!"

Hatter sighed. "I know, but I never thought of it before. It'll be the first one."

"The first one what?"

"The first mixed baby. Ever."

Alice set her cup down on the coffee table (Hatter helped as she couldn't reach over her bulging belly very well) and turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Hatter, there can't possibly be any real difference between Wonderlanders and Oysters in this sort of situation."

"Well we can't know that because it's never happened before -"

An alarm suddenly sounded through the halls of the royal home. The couple exchanged a quick glance at each other, a mixture of fear and determination in their expressions, before Hatter got up and crossed to the window that faced the front of the property.

"Holy fuck."

"David..." Alice said in a worried tone. She waddled her way from the couch to his side. "Damn. That's a big army."

Every inch of lawn up to the drop-off edge was covered in people. "They look like bloody zombies, Hatter observed.

"They're all Oysters!" Alice exclaimed, seeing a few of them marked with the familiar green designs.

The two of them spun around when their suite's door burst open, but to their great relief it was Jack, Duchess, Charlie, Carol, and Number Ten who ran through. They slammed the door behind them, then the three men proceeded to shove the couch against it. "What's going on?" Hatter asked, rushing forward.

Jack took a few deep breaths before answering. "My mother's army. All Oysters. All armed. My men are on the first floor trying to set up a defense-"

Gunfire sounded below them, a single shot that made Jack halt his sentence. "And now it begins."

Volleys of gunshots rang around them, downstairs and across the lawn. Eventually it made its way to the second floor, then slowly to the third, louder and louder as it neared their hiding place. The seven of them were silent, Alice clutching Hatter tightly. Suddenly, after at least half an hour of their wait in terror, the gunfire ceased. No one dared move.

Then the banging began. Their door shook viciously with each blow, there must have been a dozen people trying to batter it down. Charlie and the others walked backwards away from the shivering door, their eyes never leaving it, and they clustered together around Hatter and Alice.

Moments passed, the intruders continuing their attempt to bust down the door, until finally large pieces of wood cracked away. The mindless drone army amassed on the other side pushed and the locks broke, and they easily pushed the door open, the sofa rendered useless against such strength and being pushed along with the door.

A dozen Oysters filed through the door and off to the side, followed by a half dozen armed and fully lucid Wonderlanders. Two had once been ordinary citizens, the other four were Suits that Alice recognized, marking them as traitors and spies. Right behind them stepped Evangeline and the Queen of Hearts herself.

"I'm disappointed in your defenses, Jack," she spat harshly. "That was hardly worth being called a battle of any sort."

"Mummy," Evangeline said quietly as her glassy eyes raked across the group of captives. "Can I play with him now?"

The Queen contemplated for a moment before smiling at her daughter. "I believe the time is right, he does so deserve it, doesn't he?"

Evangeline nodded vigorously.

"Very well then."

The princess assassin took a few steps closer to the group, then pointed at one of them. "Bring me the Hatter."

* * *

**Oh noes! What will she do to our poor Hatter? Press the review button and you may find out someday!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Come come, now," the Queen said, clapping her hands as though she didn't already have everyone's attention. "The rest of us will be going to the throne room, where I will take my place as Queen once more."

As Hatter was led away to a darkened room once they reached the first floor (Alice had come to suspect the room was an interrogation room as there was never much light in there) the others were corralled into a corner of the throne room and guarded by the minions that had captured them. Duchess and Carol each had their arms around Alice, who looked like she was going to start rampaging and get herself killed. The six captives watched with contempt as the former Queen made herself comfortable on Jack's ceremonial throne.

"She's going to kill him," Alice growled, fighting the girls' grasp on her. "I have to save him, I have to-"

"There's nothing you can do," Jack said in a strained voice. "The Loyalist army has won, and we're all as good as dead."

Duchess loosened her grip on Alice upon hearing this and whirled around and slapped Jack as hard as she could. "Some king you are!"

"Oh, do shut up, only one of you is going to die today," the Queen groaned.

* * *

"You caused me a lot of trouble, you know," Evangeline said as she tied a leather strap around Hatter's leg tightly. She'd had the Oysters that escorted him with her hold him to the steel table in the room as she secured him there. "I was scolded badly when we found you'd lived..." She had a dreamy look on her face, and she touched the faint pink line of a scar that ran across her left cheek. Suddenly her gaze locked itself onto Hatter's, making a shiver run down his spine. "You were the one, the only one, to beat me at my own game."

"Well, it was slightly obvious," Hatter replied in a defiant tone.

Evangeline was leaned into his face so suddenly it was as if she had materialized there. "Shut up!" she growled, bringing her hand up so he could see it. A knife with a wicked edge glinted in the dim light. A second later, in a movement so fast he'd barely seen it, it had been slashed across the side of his face, a mirrored image of her own scar. "I will make you scream," she whispered, now dragging the knife lightly along his arm, causing a stinging pain.

Hatter clenched his teeth. He'd been tortured plenty of times before. "Not. Bloody. Likely."

* * *

"One of us means Hatter, doesn't it," Alice growled.

"No, you silly girl, he's none of my concern. He may die, of course, but I won't be the one killing him," the Queen replied. "No, the one who will die was one of my own once." She stood from the throne and glared at the six of them.

Alice looked at Duchess and saw the fear in her eyes; if the one she planned to kill was once hers, that meant Duchess could very well be that one. She held onto her hand tightly.

"Let's let you worry a little longer, shall we? It's amusing to watch the speculation on your faces," the Queen said with a small laugh.

Suddenly Duchess's hand was ripped from Alice's. Alice turned to see what had happened to her, to find that Jack had his arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace, their lips together. "I am so sorry for not doing this earlier," Jack admitted in a whisper when they had broken their kiss. "It's been a long time coming. I love you."

Tears fell down Duchess's cheeks as she embraced him once more.

* * *

Tears clouded his vision as the electricity charged rod was jammed into his side once again. Yet he kept his jaw clenched; he would not give in.

"You will break!" Evangeline shouted at him furiously, as she prodded him again. "I will hear your screams! You will beg me to end it." She edged into his face again, insane fury etched into her features.

Hatter sucked in a breath through his teeth as something sharp was ground into his left palm. He looked her square in the eye as he spat in her face.

Evangeline jumped back and wiped the saliva from her face, then jumped on top of her captive, straddling him as she wrapped her hands loosely around his throat. Slowly she tightened her grip, watching happily as he started to gasp for breath. Then a most wonderfully evil thought came to her, and she let go and climbed off of him.

"I know how to break you," she said in a dreamy voice.

"Oh really," Hatter choked.

Evangeline looked down at him with a serene smile, making him shiver. "Oh, yes," she said. She turned her back to him to speak to one of the Oysters. "Go. Get. Alice."

* * *

"That's so sweet, I'm getting cavities," the Queen groaned at Jack and Duchess's display of affection.

"If you're going to kill us, just do it already!" Jack yelled back.

"I told you, just one today. Perhaps another tomorrow. Who knows?" The Queen had a wicked smile.

"I will not allow you to harm any of us!" Charlie shouted, brandishing his sword.

The Queen yawned. "Guards?"

Six guns were pointed at him. He chuckled nervously, but kept his sword raised. "I do not fear your-"

Charlie stopped as he felt a touch on his shoulder. He looked down to see Carol's hand, then looked into her eyes. "Charlie," she said softly. "It's okay. You can't save us."

Reluctantly he placed his sword back in it's scabbard, and Carol wrapped her arms around him.

"Now, if all your affections for each other are finished..." the Queen said with a glimmer of joy in her voice, as if she could not wait to get to the killing. "Number Ten!"

Alice's head turned toward him so fast a sharp pain ran through her neck. "No..." she said to herself. Number Ten had always been good to her and Hatter since living in Jack's home. She couldn't stand to see him die.

Number Ten took a deep breath, shook Jack's hand, then bravely walked up to the Queen.

"What do you have to say for your actions against me?" the Queen asked.

Number Ten raised his head in defiance to her. "I regret none of my actions in removing you from the throne."

He didn't feel the pain.

The Queen's hand moved quickly, bringing a razor sharp blade across his throat, cutting him so deep he died before the pain could reach him.

As he lay bleeding and dead on the steps in front of her, the Queen faced the other five. "Your time is short. You're lucky I don't feel like killing you all right now."

Alice felt week in the knees and they nearly gave out, but Jack and Duchess helped keep her on her feet. She wiped her eyes with shaking hands; she hadn't even realized she'd been crying.

Then another Oyster guard came into the throne room and walked up to the Queen. "What does she want now?" the Queen asked it. It merely pointed. At Alice. "Really? Well, I suppose she can have the girl, I'm much more interested in my traitorous son. Take her away."

Alice tried to fight the Oyster off, but it was no use against its brute strength. She prayed with every fiber of her being that this did not mean Hatter was already dead.

* * *

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, even though Hatter is tortured and Number Ten died... Lots of twists and craziness!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Ah, there she is," Evangeline said as Alice stepped into the room.

"A...Alice?" Hatter groaned.

Alice squinted in the dim light, but could not see Hatter until Evangeline stepped aside. "Lovely work, isn't it?" Evangeline asked as Alice was allowed to rush forward.

"Oh my God, Hatter!" she cried and knelt beside him the best she could.

His face was bloodied and bruised far worse than after Mad March had tortured him before.

"Alice, don't let her do anything to you," he choked, his words hard to understand through rasping and a broken nose.

Suddenly Alice was pulled backwards by the collar of her dress into a standing position, then shoved into a chair a few yards away from Hatter. "Lift up the table against the wall," Evangeline demanded. The Oysters hopped to work immediately, leaning Hatter against the nearby wall facing the two women. "I want him to see the whole thing."

* * *

"You know..." the Queen said in a bored tone. "I am rather bored now. I do need something to entertain myself." She looked at her four remaining captives. "Eenie meanie miney moe..."

"But she said only one!" Duchess whispered in terror.

"Yes, well, apparently she's changed her mind," Jack replied.

"...moe. Oh, dear," the Queen laughed. "Jack, I do believe it's your turn." She stood from the throne. "Now be a good boy and come see your mummy."

* * *

Evangeline circled Alice like a vulture, one finger to her lips, contemplating how she would go about this. "I could... No, too messy... Maybe... No, not messy enough..."

Alice just stared at Hatter, wondering how they were going to get out of this mess. She jumped in her seat when Evangeline suddenly shouted, "Got it!"

The assassin ran across the room and started rustling through cupboards that held God knows what, making glass clink together and papers fly everywhere. "I knew I'd seen this in here..." Evangeline said as she started her way slowly back. In her hand was a little glass vial with a cloudy gray liquid inside.

"What is that?" Alice asked.

"Alice, just get out of here," Hatter coughed.

"Quiet in the peanut gallery!" Evangeline shouted, throwing a knife from her pocket at him, spearing him in the shoulder, making him grunt with pain.

"Hatter!"

"Yes, yes, he's not going anywhere," Evangeline said as she reached Alice's side. "This," she said, nodding at the glass, "is a vial of tea. One of the many teas manufactured by the Hearts Casino."

"But-"

"You thought they were destroyed? No, there were thousands of bottles on the streets, and now they're quite valuable for the pushers like your Hatter used to be. But this particular kind wasn't used on the market, it was part of a group that was produced for punishing criminals in prison."

"So then what is it?"

Evangeline looked at her with happiness etched in every feature. "Suicidal Tendencies."

* * *

Duchess held tight, but Jack brushed her off, ready to meet his fate. He walked calmly up to the Queen and looked her in the eyes. Duchess buried her face in Carol's shoulder.

A shot rang out from a corner, and an Oyster fell to the floor. The Queen, startled, turned to the sound with an angry hiss. "What is-"

One of her Wonderlanders had stepped forward with his gun aimed at the next Oyster, then fired at it. Seconds later, another joined it on the floor.

Across the room, another one of the Queen's Wonderland guard lifted her elbow into a fellow guard's face, breaking their nose and causing them to drop their weapon. She then grabbed the gun and cocked it, shooting another Oyster in the face.

Only a few moments later, both of them flanked Jack, their weapons facing the Queen, all of their enemies wasted. Jack coughed and stepped a few paces away from his mother. "Cutting it a little close, aren't we?" Jack asked.

"Our orders were to only drop our facade when you and only you were in danger, Sir," the female replied.

"How dare you!" the Queen raged.

"Oh, Mother, do shut up," Jack said with bitter laughter.

"No!" she cried out. "I still have the upper hand!" She revealed a small device with a flashing green button on it. "My spies rigged this room in case of an emergency," the Queen screeched. "I will have my throne... Or no one will."

* * *

"Now..." Evangeline stepped forward as Oysters held Alice firmly. "Be a good girl and drink your tea." She tilted Alice's head back and tipped the vial so the sweet liquid ran down her throat.

"No!" Hatter shouted as loud as he could, but he could not do anything with his injuries and being strapped down.

"Let her go now," Evengeline said, stepping back and watching Alice with a satisfied grin. The Oysters obeyed and walked away, leaving the room to stand guard outside.

Alice looked around the room in a forlorn manner. "This... Is pointless, isn't it?"

Hatter stopped fighting his restraints and let his shoulders relax in a dejected way. "No..." he whispered, feeling his whole world crashing around him. He couldn't take any more of this. His Alice and his baby... And there was no way for him to stop it.

"Yes," Evangeline giggled. "Life is pointless." She walked forward and placed something cold and metal on Alice's lap. "You can end it, you know."

Alice looked at the pistol on her knee for a moment before picking it up. She examined it with a wondrous look before turning off the safety. "End it... There's nothing left for me..."

"Alice," Hatter choked. His voice was so raw he could barely be heard though the room was silent. "You've got the baby to live for! This isn't you, it's the tea, please Alice..."

She ignored his words and placed the gun to her temple. Evangeline quivered in anticipation.

Alice looked into Hatter's eyes and let a tear fall. Then she suddenly had her gun pointed at Evangeline. "Tea doesn't work on Oysters, bitch." And she pulled the trigger.

Evangeline dropped to the ground and stared at her abdomen in shock. "How..." she gurgled; blood was leaking out of her mouth and clogging her windpipe. Seconds later she was dead.

Hatter stared in shock as Alice ran to his side and began untying him. His face was streaked with blood and tears, but she embraced him with a kiss anyway as he stumbled to his feet. "You're bloody amazing."

"I know," she said with a smirk. Suddenly she grasped his arm and took a deep breath.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Um... I think my water just broke."

* * *

**It was kind of short, but I'm happy because there's only 2 chapters left, one of which is the epilogue! Evangeline is finally dead! Now Alice is in labor... and the Queen's getting ready to blow this popsicle stand! Please review if you like it... or even if you don't!**


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